mrry (Happy New Year)
Secret Pastry Country People 23/Sep/2000

Save for the as yet unread secret song, Country People, to the tune of Pulp's Common People, is the first Pastry song since it's first birthday, and also the tenth song. Marking a new direction for Pastry, it prefers to parody the original song, as opposed to making cheap jokes about food. Our favourite line is probably quite difficult to pick, because they are all our babies. And if that sounds pretentious, it is.

Secret Pastry Secret Song 18/Sep/2000

At last, it's unveiled. Observe our retrospective lack of coyness, and our latent outrageousness.

Secret Pastry Ken Hom 12/Jun/2000

This was our first release, after the launch of Secret Pastry. To the tune of Sexbomb, by Tom Jones and Mousse T, this is our most innuendo-laden song. It came after a long absence, as Jamie went to Iceland, in order to find himself, whilst Derek looked for him in Lidl. This is the result of our time off, as Secret Pastry takes a new direction - decidedly lower-brow.

Secret Pastry Marrakesh Express 18/Mar/2000

Marrakesh Express is the song which re-launched Secret Pastry as a separate website. It is our first departure from the theme of food. It tackles the grittier realm of drug use. Hopefully though, you will still find it funny. To the tune of The Divine Comedy's National Express, our favourite line in this song is either '(Marijuana, Marijuana)' or '(Failed urine test)'. By no means do we condone anything that is said in this song, apart from the piles.

Secret Pastry Fish, Please 15/Jan/2000

'Fish, please' is the runt of the Secret Pastry litter. It was only a week after we had penned this song, when we realised that there weren't two humorous lines to rub together. We even considered removing all trace of this song: making it an unsong, if you will. However, we thought that we should show that even we are fallible, and that we should leave it up as a monument to our humanity. In Jamie's words: 'We turned left, when we should have turned right.'



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