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Blog Spraffing Lyrics 19/Jan/2005

I fancy a change of tack. There comes a point when posts about technical arcana must stop, and things break down into self-indulgent fluff. This, ladies and gentlemen, is that point.

I've wanted to do a "funny" post about MSN names for some time now, mostly provoked by the painfully earnest Sarah's Sparkling Site. Not only does it include lists of pre-contrived MSN names (think 1-dimensional ASCII art), but also lists of "kewl quotes", and a Javascript tool to convert text like this into "TeXt lIkE ThIs". Now, I don't want to sneer (for one thing, take the name — "sparkling" isn't so far removed from that prince among adjectives, spiffy), but the notion of cribbing one's MSN name from a website is anathema to me.

Y'see, along with blog post titles and e-mail subject lines, setting my MSN name is one of my favourite methods of broadcasting my personality to the world. I thought about riffing on the inherent comedy in this field, but, while I've already proved (with Gary) that I can do puerile, I'm not sure that I can quite pull off the Seinfeld brand of observational comedy to which I aspire — despite gorging on the first three series on DVD over Christmas.

There is, of course, no better method of expressing one's true personality than through the medium of Other People's Song Lyrics. This is a crime of which I've been guilty several times in the past, and I've decided — in a belated new year's resolution — that it should stop. The trouble is, looking through my list of favourite songs, I'm going to miss showing my affinity for lyrical dexterity. Therefore — and after all this self-deprecating pseudo-analysis, we come to the fluff — I'm going to use the remainder of this post to spraff as many disconnected lyrics as I see fit:

  • Carrion, by British Sea Power

    My soul, she cried, I thought you'd died
    Amid fumes of formaldehyde
    You have been gone, for so long
    I felt the lapping of an ebbing tide.
  • PS. You Rock My World, by Eels

    I was at a funeral, the day I realised
    I wanted to spend my life with you.
  • Son of a Gun, by The Vaselines

    The sun shines in my bedroom when you play,
    And the raining always starts when you go away.
  • I Predict A Riot, by The Kaiser Chiefs

    Watching the people get lairy
    Is not very pretty I tell thee.
    Walking through town is quite scary,
    And not very sensible either.
  • Robot, by The Futureheads

    The best thing is our life span (I don't mind)
    We last nigh on hundred years (I don't mind)
    If that means we'll be together I don't mind (I have no mind)
  • Fashion Crisis Hits New York, by The Frank and Walters

    Fashion Crisis Hits New York.
    I saw a blind man, he was eating his fork.
    He says that's what you had to do to be cool:
    You eat your cutlery instead of your food.
    What a hippy-diddly-crazy world….

There are more, but I think you've indulged me enough for one evening. I'm not sure what connects them, but each of those lyrics brings a smile to my face. Should there be a song that does the same for you, you know where the comments form is.

Cheers,

Derek.

 
CommentsComments 

caz said:
gta agree its wank

liz said:
THATZ THE CRAPIEST LOAD OF CRAP IVE EVAH HEARD

Angel said:
this is totally awesome ive been looking everywhere 4 msn names & this is the first GOOD 1

Sarah said:
haha funny article...thats an interesting perspective on msn names...thanks for linking to the site tho :P

Gary Fleming said:
Simply put you're a fuck up.
Take extra special care.
You think too much about the wrong things.
You sing about the wrong things.

"There's No Such Thing As A Jaggy Snake" -- Biffy Clyro

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