After years of appearing dull at dinner parties, I have finally hit on the perfect way to be funny. Don't worry kids, you don't need to be witty, or even amusing. Just follow this prescribed list of steps:

1. Visit www.b3ta.com and find out what the funny people are saying. Or visit The Law of the Playground and read some anecdotes for you to pass off as your own.
2. Copy wholesale passages from either of these sites into a new e-mail. For added amusement, people really like it if you copy them into a Microsoft Word document instead, and attach it to an e-mail. (Kudos for macro viruses.)
3. Send the e-mail to five of your dullard friends. Doubtless it'll rock their worlds, and you will be hailed as a genius.

Or don't, and return to your pseudo-mediocre life of penning invective about people whom you despise.

Cheers,

Derek.

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