After years of appearing dull at dinner parties, I have finally hit on the perfect way to be funny. Don't worry kids, you don't need to be witty, or even amusing. Just follow this prescribed list of steps:
- Visit www.b3ta.com and find out what the funny people are saying. Or visit The Law of the Playground and read some anecdotes for you to pass off as your own.
- Copy wholesale passages from either of these sites into a new e-mail. For added amusement, people really like it if you copy them into a Microsoft Word document instead, and attach it to an e-mail. (Kudos for macro viruses.)
- Send the e-mail to five of your dullard friends. Doubtless it'll rock their worlds, and you will be hailed as a genius.
Or don't, and return to your pseudo-mediocre life of penning invective about people whom you despise.