mrry (Happy New Year)
 
Secret Pastry Poseability 8/Apr/2001

Pastry obviously attracts readers who are a cut above the rest. Not only do they visit the site to look at the songs, they turn their own artistic talents to creating comedy songs of their own.

Step forward my dear friends, Gareth Fullarton and Julie McGregor, who conceived the song below. I was lucky enough to be allowed to co-write it with them, over an intense :-) MSN Messenger session. Poseability is a satire on the cult of the mobile phone, and it's set to the tune of Idlewild's recent single, Roseability. Even if you haven't heard the song, which is - however remotely - possible, please look at the song, and enjoy its poetic merits.

Cheers,

Derek.

PS. My name's Derek Murray, and I am a mobile phone owner. I'm not proud of it. Believe me, it's just for emergency use. Honest...

 
Secret Pastry - Poseability Fullarton/McGregor/Murray

Poseability. They're just for poseability.
Poseability. They're just for poseability.

The phone bill is too much now.
It's costing me far too much now.
Stop looking through manuals and Vodafone's window.
I'd like to know:
Why be in contact, every-bloody-where you go?
When you're talking, your brain gets fried.

Thirty ringtones, thatís enough.
(Mine plays songs by Li'l Bow Wow.)
A single fascia, that's enough.
(It's got to match my Rangers strip.)
Mine plays The Sash when someone calls.
(Oh no, no that's far too lowbrow.)
One a year would be enough.

Poseability. They're just for poseability.

You play games far too much now:
Youíre playing Snake far too much now.
Who cares that you can score more than twenty thousand?
Because I know,
They say about you, what you don't already show.
Emergency use? I guess you lied...

A simple phone book is enough.
A telephone box is enough.
Thirty ringtones, thatís enough.
(Mine plays songs by Li'l Bow Wow.)
A single fascia, that's enough.
(It's got to match my Rangers strip.)
Mine plays The Sash when someone calls.
(Oh no, no that's far too lowbrow.)
One a year would be enough.
(I must keep up with the Joneses.)

Poseability. They're just for poseability

Your ringtone is far too loud,
It's drowning out all other sound.
Your diminutive gadget will never impress me.
You ought to know,
I do not care, if you're on the train or not.
I'd prefer it, if you just died.

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