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Secret Pastry Ken Hom 12/Jun/2000

This was our first release, after the launch of Secret Pastry. To the tune of Sexbomb, by Tom Jones and Mousse T, this is our most innuendo-laden song. It came after a long absence, as Jamie went to Iceland, in order to find himself, whilst Derek looked for him in Lidl. This is the result of our time off, as Secret Pastry takes a new direction - decidedly lower-brow.

 
Download Ken Hom MIDI Murray/Watt

Batman and Robin,
In a pair of tights:
Have you ever seen them
Move through the night?
If you have, baby,
That can't be right:
They don't exist, you stupid man.

Who's that guy in Lycra,
On the news?
Dangermouse, or Doctor Who?
We can rely; this guy's the only
One who can never die.

James Bond, James Bond,
You're my James Bond.
In your Aston Martin,
You can really zip along.
Ding-dong, ding-dong,
You're my Kenneth Williams,
Oooh, Matron, you can turn my sheets.

Now that Doctor Evil,
He won't do you no harm.
Austin Powers'll save with his mojo and charm.
Mini-Me will bite you when you get in a fight,
But Austin's wearing velvet tights.

The bus won't explode, whilst on the road.
The ship takes knocks, but makes the docks.
So hold on to your Sandra Bullock's:
'Cause you're in for a hell of a ride.

James Bond, James Bond,
You're my James Bond.
In your Aston Martin,
You can really zip along.
Ding-dong, ding-dong,
You're my Kenneth Williams,
Oooh, Matron, you can turn my sheets.

James Bond, James Bond,
You're my James Bond.
In your Aston Martin,
You can really zip along.
Ding-dong, ding-dong,
You're my Kenneth Williams,
Oooh, Matron, you can turn my sheets.

The boy Skywalker counts only upto four.
He was busy building pods, instead of school.
Perhaps he'll get a job through the "New Deal".
Or maybe he'll just earn a living, writing stupid songs.

James Bond, James Bond,
You're my James Bond.
In your Aston Martin,
You can really zip along.
Ding-dong, ding-dong,
You're my Kenneth Williams,
Oooh, Matron, you can turn my sheets.
Oooh, Matron, you can turn my sheets.
Matron, you can turn my sheets.
Oooh, Matron, you can turn my sheets.
Matron, you can turn my sheets.
Matron, you can turn my sheets.
Matron, you can turn my sheets.
Matron, you can turn my sheets.

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