Europe By Train, part immemorial: I am, for some reason, at a training session for the University basketball team. The coach is a boorish man, who makes distasteful jokes at weaker people's expense. He hands out a sheet of paper, with various tactics on them, and asks us to spot the illegalities in each of them. I sign a register, which asks questions, such as, "What T-shirt are you wearing?" I answer, "Nike Soccer," my ironic holiday buy.
The coach pulls rank and throws somebody out of their seat.
Later on, we all leave. I head to the train station, which, inexplicably, is in Williamwood (not Williamwood station, but on the hill overlooking the school, and at the end of an imaginary valley). It's packed, since the school has just come out. I stand at the far end of the platform, but the wait is far too long. Before I leave, I go to retrieve my jacket, which I have left on a seat, on which somebody is now sitting.
I leave the station, and notice that the platform is right on a bus route. I hop on a bus and arrive home soon afterwards.
When I arrive home it is dark, and night. I am in the living room, with my mum and an elderly neighbour. Our neighbour's son is upstairs in the spare bedroom, because he is psychotic.
Outside, I see somebody run towards our front door, carrying a baby. She lets herself in with a key (to my bemusement), and runs upstairs. She re-emerges, sans baby, soon afterwards, explaining that she needed to change it.
Which is all very well, but I hear screams upstairs. I rush up to find that the psychotic son has kidnapped the baby (played by an Action Man doll), and is trying to strangle it. I manage to wrestle the baby free, whereupon it transmogrifies into a CD. Then, I try to incapacitate the man, by knocking seven bells out of him. As I try to escape with the baby (CD), he grabs hold of my legs, and I struggle towards the door.