The Head Duck worries that he might be usurped by a traitorous band of educational mutineers. Messrs. Cheese and Connery are his prime suspects. So he goes to televisual superstar of the seventies, Ricky Bootlethrop, to ask him what he should do. Ricky Bootlethrop was the unconventional detective star of the popular police sitcom, The Tab. He had a huge following of teenage farmers, who did so enjoy his urbane wit. Unfortunately, he had a nervous breakdown, after it turned out that he wasn't famous enough for the KGB to have a file on him. His private KGB mole looked in the Potentially Dangerous British Persons filing cabinet, but could not find a file between Booth, F and Bowen, J. His over-inflated ego was pricked like a gardener's finger, and he became a recluse, who could only relate to similarly reclusive headmasters.
Back at the school, while the Head Duck is away, Mr. Cheese has come out to play. He plans an assembly with such insane precision that he will become forever associated with the genius of...
All names are fictitious.
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